Maybe you mean well, but there are some things you should just never say to a new mom.
Ahhhh. You just arrived home with your new bundle of joy. You’re elated. Whether it’s your first or fifth, there is nothing quite like the amazement associated with meeting the baby who grew inside of you for nearly ten months. There’s also nothing that can prepare you for the overwhelming exhaustion and rush of hormones and emotions that come along with it all.
As my “baby” nears her third birthday, my husband and I have been asking ourselves: Do we think we can do this one more time? Would we like to have a third child?
As I reflect on everything that comes along with pregnancy (which I loved) and those first few months with a newborn/infant, it brings me back to all of the things people said that frustrated me!
Here are five things to never say to a new mom:
The baby looks just like “xyz.”
If someone says the baby looks just like anyone but me, or that the baby has zero resemblance to me, I feel a little frustrated. I realize (in our case) both of our children do favor my husband and that’s fine. I obviously think he is cute, so I think our children are cute, too. But it is nice to feel like maybe, just maybe, the baby has a little bit of “me” in him or her. This tops my list of what to never say to a new mom.
You’ll lose that baby weight soon.
Are you insinuating I should be concerned with the way I look? In fact, I did JUST have a baby. It took some time to gain the weight, so it’ll take some time to get back to my (new) normal – and that’s okay. My stomach does indeed resemble a deflated bouncy ball and I am feeling the “f” word (fat), thankyouverymuch. However, I know my body will never look the same again. Maybe in a few months, I’ll seek some ways to lose the baby weight. But the fact that I gained it is something I came to terms with prior to getting pregnant.
Get ready for a lot of sleepless nights! My baby didn’t sleep through the night until he was over a year!
This is such a common phrase that you should NEVER say to a new mom. I know – I realize that, and yes, I am currently suffering from and looking for ways to beat new mom fatigue. While I realize your “warning” maybe isn’t meant to come off the way it did, I am going to hope for the best and always remember that my baby will sleep through the night eventually!
Sleep when the baby sleeps.
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| My first baby boy, just a day old in the hospital. Boy, was he worth it all! |
Right, that is a good plan. However, someone needs to cook/clean/pay the bills and so on. Plus, the second time around, this plan is void. You can’t just nap when your newborn naps if you have a toddler at home … unless you aren’t worried about waking up to an empty cookie jar, marker on the walls and a clogged toilet (hopefully you didn’t really like that new watch anyway!).
Well, was it all worth it?
Of course it was! Look at this angel. Besides, who would ever actually say “No, it really wasn’t. Is there a return policy for this child?”While the likelihood of a third child in our family is still a toss up, I love my memories of pregnancy, meeting our new babies, and getting to introduce them to our friends and family. I even liked most of the advice we were given, even when it was unsolicited or from strangers. Our children were (and still are) very loved babies and I know (nearly) everyone means well. I just wanted to share my thoughts on what to never say to a new mom in case it could enlighten some others.
What annoying (or funny!) things did people say to you after you had a baby?
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Tags: baby weight
