Losing someone we love is never easy, and explaining it to a child can feel almost as impossible as it is heartbreaking. While there’s no one-size-fits-all solution, here’s a fun, informal, and slightly sarcastic roadmap to help your little ones—and yourself—navigate grief with a smile (if possible), a tissue, and maybe even a laugh.
Let Them Lead the Way
Kids aren’t robots programmed for perfect emotional displays. Some will sob like a leaky faucet, others will bounce off the walls, and a few may act like nothing happened at all. That last one is not denial—it’s resilience. Ask open-ended questions, such as, “What do you remember most?” or “How are you feeling today?” Then listen. If your child wants to prattle on about the time Grandpa tried to water the fish with orange juice, allow it. That’s their grief compass pointing true north.
Memory-Making Missions
Turn remembrance into an adventure. Decorate a “memory jar” with stickers, fill it with colorful slips of paper, and encourage your kids to write or draw their favorite memories. Once a week, pick a slip and relive that moment together. You can even bake their loved one’s favorite cookies, while reciting embarrassing stories—because if we can’t laugh together, what’s the point of all that sugar?
Talk It Out Over… Anything
Serious talks don’t have to happen on the couch. Take a walk in the park, doodle on paper, or assemble Lego worlds while discussing feelings. Sometimes your child will blurt out a concern when you least expect it, like mid-brick-placement. That’s the beauty of informal chats. Keep tissues—and maybe snacks—on hand, because tears and hunger often arrive as a dynamic duo.
Plan (Sort Of) With Funeral Services
Attending funeral services can help demystify death. If your child feels up to it, talk to Academy Funeral Services about the event, and then take the time to explain what’s going to happen: the songs, the readings, the people who will cry quietly in the back. Offer them a small role, such as placing a flower on the casket or handing out photos. Even if they decide it’s too much, knowing they had a choice empowers them. And hey, sometimes it’s just nice to see a grown-up shed a tear so it doesn’t feel like grief is only for kids.
Bring on the Silly
Balance is the secret ingredient. After a heartfelt memorial or a tear-soaked memory jar session, switch gears. Blast a goofy playlist, bust out your best chicken dance, or challenge your kids to a tickle fight. Laughter doesn’t erase sorrow, but it reminds us that joy and grief can coexist. Plus, it makes for excellent family lore.
Seek Extra Support When Needed
If your child’s sadness lingers longer than the leftover pizza, consider outside help. Counselors, support groups, or even a trusted teacher can offer fresh perspectives. You don’t have to do this alone; it’s perfectly fine to recruit reinforcements.
Grief is messy, unpredictable, and occasionally absurd, and it can be even tougher for young kids who are experiencing it for the first time, but with your help, your kids will be just fine. Just give it time!
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