Just where does the time go? One moment your children are coming to you to complain about their runny noses and the green vegetables on their plates, and the next they’re coming to you for advice on love and relationships!
Life moves fast and as parents, this can sometimes take us by surprise. Considering the difficulties we can face when raising teenagers, we can often long for those simpler days of diaper changes and feeding bowls.
Still, we can prepare ourselves for those inevitable conversations about love and relationships, and we have some pointers here to help you talk to your teenagers.
#1: Explain the difference between infatuation, lust, and love
Due to your teen’s raging hormones, it won’t be uncommon for them to experience feelings of lust and infatuation towards the opposite sex. It’s also not uncommon for them to confuse these feelings with love. To help your teen know the difference, you should explain how their body is going through physical and emotional changes, and how this could be the driving force behind their feelings. Let them know that love is something that happens over time and not overnight, and perhaps use articles like this one to explain the difference.
#2: Encourage your teen to take things slowly
Teens tend to rush into relationships, partly because of peer pressure and partly because of the confusion they have distinguishing between love and the usual teenage crushes. If your teen ever comes to you with wedding plans and advice on whether to opt for rubies or 1-carat diamonds for an engagement ring, you know they are jumping ahead way too soon!
Before they get to that point, encourage them to take things slowly in the relationship, and remind them that their teenage years are generally not the time to take relationships too seriously. This isn’t to say they won’t meet the person of their dreams but it’s important to remind them to get to know the person well before they think of wedding plans and a long-term future with them!
#3: Have the sex talk
Having sex is something your teen might be interested in but it is also something they might regret if they aren’t clued up on the consequences. How you go about the conversation about sex depends on the age of your teen and your personal viewpoints but you might still want to remind them of safe sex and/or the importance of abstinence. it’s also possible that your teen might have same-sex attractions so if you do have the “birds and the bees” talk, you might need to vary your approach.
There is lots of advice online if you need help in this area and there are probably YouTube videos too. It can be a difficult subject to approach but necessary, as your teenager’s hormones may be causing them to have lots of lustful thoughts.
Finally
There is much more to this topic than we have room for here but the more advice you can give to your teen the better. But whatever you discuss with your teen, remember to be supportive, non-judgmental, and respectful of the feelings they are experiencing. Remember your experiences as a teen too and draw on these when talking with your teenager.
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