My three-year-old daughter and I just returned from a long weekend visit to our family in Northwest Indiana. Though it was a short trip, we spent a lot of quality time with our family and friends.

I am always amazed when I watch my parents interact with my daughter and my stepchildren. The depth of kindness floors me. I feel the same way observing my in-laws with the kids and with my daughter’s paternal grandmother. There is just something about the way that a grandparent loves that is different, and fuller, than a parent’s love.

I know that as parents we are the self-proclaimed “experts” on our kids, but I think that there are a few things that we could learn from our own parents when it comes to our little ones.

Grandma Sally and London

We Should Spoil Our Kids (Sometimes): I know that parenting is all about teaching kids boundaries and that they just “can’t have everything” they want in life. But sometimes, just sometimes, maybe it’s okay to buy them that $2 matchbox car from the grocery store just because they asked for it. It is important not to set the precedent that everything that is asked for will be received but I think that parents can be a little bit too withholding sometimes. The answer doesn’t always have to be a “no.” Sometimes, just sometimes, maybe it should be “Okay sweetie. If that will make you happy, I’d be happy to do it for you.”

We Should Make Our Kids Feel Special: It can be really easy as a parent to say a lot of things that are intended to make our kids feel good about themselves. “Oh honey, I’m so proud of you!” or “That was great. You are doing so well at that!” or “You’re the best.” This is all well and good but words are just that… words. Grandparents don’t just tell kids that they are special. They make them feel like they are special by dropping whatever they are doing to read a story, or scratch a back, or watch a silly children’s TV show, or just have a chat. Parents are constantly trying to find the “balance” between work, maintaining a home and spending quality time with their kids. Maybe it’s because I work at home, but I generally feel like I am the worst at the last part of the balancing act. Between answering emails, bidding on jobs, blogging and keeping the house (somewhat) clean, I often feel like I’m sending my kids away to do their own thing so that I can do
mine. I want to be better about that. Everyday cannot be a 12-hour storybook reading fest. But even taking five minutes out of a hectic few hours to just sit with them can make them feel special and like more of a priority in my life.

We Should Laugh More: Bedtimes. Wake-up times. Dinner time. Snack time. Nap time. Quiet time. Parents have a time for everything. If the slightest thing throws off your family’s routine, it can be aggravating for a parent. Throw in a potty-training accident when you are trying to walk out the front door for the gym (already ten minutes late) or spilled milk that lands on the dog (who was just bathed) and streams across the freshly Swiffer-ed kitchen floor and aggravation can turn into downright anger. It’s easy to yell. It’s easy to roll our eyes. It’s easy to throw our hands up and declare that everything is a disaster. Why is it so tough to just… laugh? Did we really think that we were actually going to make it to the gym ten minutes early, kids in tow, to find the best bike in spinning class? When, ever, has that actually happened? Besides, the dog looks pretty funny with a matching milk mustache and hair-do. I noticed on several occasions this past weekend when my daughter spilled, broke or in some other way destroyed something, her grandparents laughed. I encouraged her to apologize, of course, and she did. But I noticed that I was the only one scowling. Parents should really chillax a bit more. And laugh a lot more.

Let’s connect on social media too:

Mumbling Mommy on Facebook

Mumbling Mommy on Twitter

Mumbling Mommy on Pinterest

Category: Grandparents

Tags: grandkids