A 2019 research on parents indicated that one-fifth of married couples separate or divorce within the first twelve months of welcoming their first baby. It makes you wonder where all the optimistic expectations went, as this is the reality some families had to face right after having babies for the first time. One school of thought believes friction begins before the baby arrives. They think that the failure to discuss expectations and other responsibilities tears marriages apart. However, you can keep your relationship with the proper steps. That said, here are some things to discuss before your baby arrives.
Possible baby name
You may think this is not an issue to worry about, but you will be surprised to know that 35% of couples fail to pick a name before their baby is born. It can be a bone of contention when this happens, especially when one partner is not in favor of the chosen name for the baby. According to relationship experts, even though over 50% of couples touch on the subject, they fail to reach a consensus, which causes problems later on.
This is why relationship experts recommend taking a decision where both partners feel satisfied with the name choice. For example, if your spouse is from Ireland and you are American, you can decide on Irish baby names that sit well with both of you. Once you both agree, the chances of arguments about the name become slimmer.
Financial expectations and realities
Babies are expensive, which is no secret. You would think these little bundles of joy go easy on the pocket, but you need to gird up your loins. Due to the reality of baby expenses, it’s prudent to have this discussion with your partner. For instance, you should decide who should be the primary breadwinner for the family, even if you and your partner have active careers. A likely decision will be to agree to split costs 50-50.
If you fail to do this, you risk creating an atmosphere where one partner feels exploited. In other instances, one partner may feel unfulfilled in their parental role. Financial realities can make or unmake a relationship; therefore, you should make this discussion a priority before your baby arrives to avoid breaking your relationship. Most experienced parents will tell you, the joys of becoming a new parent are cut short when financial demands for the baby set in.
Child care
How long do you intend to stay home after your baby is born? Moreover, is your partner willing to be a stay-at-home dad? If both of you have plans to return to work, then the discussion on child care becomes paramount. Did you know child care comes in different ways? You have the option to drop your baby off at a child care center or look for a nanny. The latter may seem ideal for a couple who want to maintain a familiar environment for their child. The following are some types of childcare services:
- In-home childcare services
- Family daycare
- Babysitter
It helps to be realistic about specific demands that may require you to go out of the house without your baby. In a scenario like this, what would you do? That’s why you and your spouse must agree on the type of service or childcare that suits you both.
Plan ahead for breaks
If you are a first-time mom or dad, you should know that parenting burnout is real. Forget about all the anecdotes that seek to make light of parental exhaustion and burnout in general. The apparent lack of sleep, lack of ‘me’ time, and being constantly on edge to provide for the needs of a hungry baby can drive you crazy. It is even worse when you have no support. This makes the subject an essential topic for discussion months before the baby’s arrival.
The essence of taking breaks is to rejuvenate and to have a well-deserving ‘me’ time. Moreover, it affords the other parent a chance to bond with the baby without interference when you take this critical break. If you both plan to take breaks to focus on each other and revitalize the relationship, plan which trusted relative or friend can take over for the short time you’re away.
When to have next baby
Believe it or not, this is a crucial topic you must not put off the table. Perhaps, one partner wants to have kids in quick succession, while the other wants to wait it out for a bit.
Agreeing on a common ground is key to a stronger relationship and can determine the quality of care given to your baby already on the way. It would also be a great time to discuss how involved your baby’s grandparents will be and to what extent. Hopefully, you gained some insight into the subject and will impact positively on your decisions.
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