My oldest daughter turned 8 this year and she celebrated with a small birthday party.

While her party was small, it was actually a big thing because it was the first birthday party I’ve ever planned that included friends outside of our family. We usually celebrate birthdays by inviting our daughters’ grandparents over for dinner. I cook whatever the birthday girl requests for dinner, we enjoy cake or a special dessert, and we watch the birthday girl open a few gifts. We enjoy our parties, but we do them on a small, intimate scale.

My oldest daughter had been asking for a birthday party with friends for years, and I couldn’t bring my introverted self to do it. I balked for several reasons: the potential crowd of kids I’d be responsible for, the lack of a budget-friendly venue to accommodate the crowd, the need to plan activities and entertainment, and a flood of unnecessary gifts. Further complicating the matter is the fact that my daughter’s birthday is during the middle of winter and we live in the Midwest, so we can’t host a big party outdoors at a park or in our back yard.

This year, we worked out a compromise.

We invited just three girls who are among my daughter’s favorite friends from school over for a playdate-style birthday party.

The guests were all girls whose parents I could contact outside of school via Facebook or texting, so we didn’t have to hand out invitations at school or follow school recommendations that party invitations go to all the girls in the class. I didn’t decorate or organize games and activities. The girls came over for two hours and played together in our back yard (it was an unseasonably warm winter day), my daughter opened a few gifts, and I set out ice cream and toppings so everyone could make their own sundaes. We handed out small goody bags with stickers, Rice Krispie treats, and inexpensive bracelets as guests left.

At the end of the day, my daughter was happy and I was happy. Her party was a success.

This is not to say that large birthday parties are bad. My oldest has attended some great birthday parties at a gymnastics center, a recreation center with a room full of inflatable slides and bounce houses, a local pool, and a mini golf course. We once attended a birthday party where the family hired a clown along with Elsa and Anna actors to come and sing and hang out with guests. We always have fun and are grateful to be invited.

But if large parties are physically, mentally, or financially overwhelming, there is nothing wrong with going small.

Here are several reasons to like small birthday parties:

Small birthday parties are less expensive.

You save money on food and can host the party in your home if you want to, avoiding the cost of renting a room in a community center or other large venue. You can save that money, or you can put the money toward making your small party extra special. One of my daughter’s friends had only two girls over to celebrate her birthday last fall, and her mother hired a cake decorator to teach the girls how to decorate their own cupcakes. The cost was reasonable because there were so few kids.

Small birthday parties mean fewer gifts, which means less clutter.

I’m not a full-fledged minimalist, but if de-cluttering and hoarding were on a spectrum, I would fall fairly far on the purging side. I’m not crazy about the piles of loot I’ve seen some kids get during big birthday parties. I wonder if kids like or use all the gifts they receive because often guests (and their parents) are simply guessing about what the birthday child would like. After receiving gifts from my husband and me, as well as from multiple sets of grandparents, my daughters don’t need much else. Also, fewer gifts mean fewer thank-you notes to write. I’ve noticed not everyone writes thank-you notes anymore, but I made sure my daughter wrote notes thanking each of her guests after her small birthday party.

Small birthday parties are less complicated, which means less work and less stress.

You need less food for a small birthday party, so shopping trips and food preparation are easier. It’s also easier to supervise a smaller group of kids, and you don’t have to spend time and money seeking out and reserving a large venue. You can go with simpler entertainment options like a few games, or just let the kids play and make their own entertainment.

Small birthday parties can be just as meaningful as large parties.

Small parties allow the birthday child to spend time with her closest friends, rather than overwhelming her with a large, loud crowd of acquaintances. Just because the party is small doesn’t mean it can’t be memorable. You can still add meaningful small touches with favorite foods, or serve special foods that would be too costly or time-consuming to prepare for a larger crowd. You can decorate, and plan games or activities scaled down to suit a smaller group.

Now that I’ve seen how easy, inexpensive, and fun small birthday parties can be, I’m more likely to say yes to future requests for parties.

What do you prefer? Do you like hosting small birthday parties or large birthday parties?

Photo credit: flickr.com.

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