Today I continue my countdown to the birth of my third little girl by looking back at a blog series I started when I was in the third trimester with my first. I wanted to take a fresh glance at how my perspectives and opinions have changed since my pre-child days, and also see what remains the same. Today’s entry is an example of being enlightened by my former self’s unmet expectations and saying “Wow…” when I re-read it. Keep in mind that when I wrote it, I was a single mom waiting for my first child. Today I am a married mom of four (almost five).

So here goes…

My happy oldest girl, at 3 months

Unmet Expectations

Sunday, March 30, 2008

#45: Unmet expectations

At first glance, this seems to be a topic that would be something that would discourage you in life — not something that you will love. But perhaps my title is misleading…

You will build your expectations about life, people and even yourself based on what has happened to you in the past, what has happened to other people, and what personal experience has taught you to that point. And for the most part, what you are predicting on a day-to-day basis will go exactly as planned, without deviation.

Which is what will make those unexpected plot twists so exciting. When a situation you believe will be bumpy goes surprisingly smoothly, the relief will be greater than you anticipated. When your career takes a path you had not planned, but leads you to greater opportunity than if you had just gone along the well- beaten trail, you will be enlightened. And even when unexpected tragedy, or loss, or problems in a friendship or relationship pop up without warning, you will learn the depth of your caring heart and appreciate the people around you with new insight.

I was not expecting you at this point in my life. Never in my childhood dreams or adulthood goals did I see myself in this situation, at this crossroads. But it is with unmatched anticipation and joy that I await you today — knowing not to place too much emphasis on my expectations. From day one, you have been an inspiration to me and even though I don’t know what you will look like on your birth date or in 20 years, your face is already imprinted in my heart.

I expect great things from you. Determine what those things will be and chase them down — but remember to embrace the unexpected.

 

Monday, September 22, 2014

#45 – Unmet expectations

My pregnancy with you has been one string of unexpected circumstances. First, there was the news that there would even BE a you. Then there was the morning sickness that struck me with such debilitating power this time that even I, a mom who has been pregnant twice before you, was surprised. There were the two months that the doctor carefully monitored my placenta that was blocking your entry to the world. Then I was asked to start Vitamin D supplements. Then iron supplements. Then I failed my glucose test. Then I failed my three-hour glucose test. And later this week, I will have an unexpected lump in my breast biopsied. Every time I have a regular doctor’s appointment, I hold my breath — wondering what to expect this time.

None of these things are your fault, of course, and they have actually made me more thankful and aware of my health than ever before. Even before you arrive, you are giving your siblings the gift of a healthier, happier mother.

I look back on the 6.5 years since your oldest sister was born, and I realize in retrospect that I could have never, ever predicted the road my life would take. My expectations in so many areas have been met, and exceeded — even if they looked differently than I had ever imagined. I know the same will be true about my early years with you, and all the years that follow.

So I approach your birth with an open mind, and a clean slate devoid of anything I think I know about parenting, or little girls, or life in general. My expectations are wide open. I know now to look to you for that guidance.

Category: Pregnancy

Tags: 50 things