Two weeks after our wedding, my husband and I trekked out to the local animal shelter to pick out a kitten. We found a friendly 2-month old dark-colored tabby we took home that same day. As Josh was driving us back to our apartment, I plucked the kitten from her cardboard travel box and called my mom. “We just got a kitten,” I said proudly as the little creature meowed and clung to my shirt. Mom was excited to learn another cat had joined the extended family.
I come from a family of cat lovers. My mother and grandmother taught me early about the benefits of snuggling a small ball of fur. My grandma had several cats roaming her property when she used to live in the country. My mom has always had a cat or two, or three. Mom prides herself on being able to make friends with just about any feline. Grandma says random stray cats used to follow my mom when she was young, as if they could sense a kindred spirit when they saw one. I got to pick out my own cat for my 6th birthday, and she was good company until she passed away during my college years. When Josh and I picked out our cat, I selected one that looked like my cat from my childhood.
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| A placid, kid-free life. |
Josh and I christened our new cat Hildegard, or Hilde (pronounced Hill dee) for short. We chose a name we could have fun with, that would give the cat personality, and it had to be a name we would never give one of our own human children. Hildegard was a nice addition to our small family. She sat on our laps and purred, and we invested in toys and treats for her. We bought a cat condo she rarely slept in. She liked to sit in front of the sunny sliding glass doors in our apartment living room, where she could watch the comings and goings of our building’s residents.
I posted pictures of her on MySpace back in the day. She was our fur baby, and she had it good during the first year and a half of our marriage. Then we had children.
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| A little love from baby. |
Fellow blogger Elizabeth once said her dogs had not forgiven her for having children. Hildegard’s world has never been the same since we brought our first daughter home from the hospital. We set our daughter’s car seat down on the dining room floor and Hildegard tentatively crept up for a sniff. When the baby moved and snuffled, Hildegard jumped back and let out a brief, startled hiss.
Things were okay once Hildegard figured out what a baby was. She grew accustomed to the noises and flailing limbs. She often sat on my lap while I nursed the baby, and life was good for everyone for a while.
When The Cat’s Life Changes…
Hildegard’s troubles began when our daughter became mobile. The cat’s life seemed to be disturbed. This small person enjoyed sitting on the cat, drooling on the cat, grabbing great handfuls of fur, and generally harassing the cat all in the name of love. My daughter followed Hildegard around holding her tail like a leash. We tirelessly instructed our daughter on proper cat-petting etiquette, but we mostly encouraged the cat to avoid the kid. Still, Hildegard foolishly insisted on lounging within easy reach. A few years later, we had another daughter and doubled the fun.
Hildegard turned eight years old this spring. She is well into feline middle age. It’s easy to remember her age because it corresponds closely to our wedding anniversary. These days she spends a lot of time snoozing in our bright, warm sun room where she is easy prey for the young children who like to play out there. On other days she sleeps on our bed where it’s quiet and kid-free, and I pause to give her little pats as I pass through while grabbing my tennis shoes to take our daughters for walks. She usually cannot sit on my lap during the day time because my toddler gets jealous of anyone else in her mama’s lap, and this includes the cat.
Hildegard sometimes sleeps on my lap during afternoon nap time, and almost every evening she sits on Josh’s lap while he plays video games after the girls go to bed. She seems to want the most attention early in the morning, when I am up before my daughters. She meows loudly as she follows me into the bathroom, and it’s common for her to sit behind the toilet enjoying the steamy warmth of the bathroom while I shower. Once I’m dressed, she follows me to the kitchen and I hold her and pat her while I heat water for tea. She purrs loudly, bonks her head lovingly against my shoulder, and holds onto me with her declawed front paws when I try to set her down.
I sometimes feel bad about our cat’s life status in our home these days. While she gets plenty of mostly unwanted attention from the children in our house, I am so busy with the kids that I frequently pass her by when she is meowing and seeking a little scratch behind her ears. Fortunately, she seems to cope well enough with the arrangement.
One of the reasons I like cats at my stage in life is because they are such low-maintenance animals. A cat is notoriously aloof. They can be the ultimate loners when they feel like it. Sometimes we go the better part of the day without seeing Hildegard, from the time Josh feeds her in the morning until I pick up our older daughter from school in the afternoon. It’s no big deal. She’s usually found a new cozy place to nap, like in a box of old cleaning rags in the basement or on top of a soft shirt that got shoved under someone’s bed. We don’t have to walk her. She doesn’t tear up our grass or poop all over our yard. We don’t have to bathe her. If we leave town for two or three days, Hildegard is okay if we simply set out extra water and dry food and leave her with a freshly scooped litter box. She’s a good pet for a family with young children.
My philosophy on cats has changed during the last few years. I’ve loosened up and probably let my family reputation slide a little. I am not as fanatical anymore. Right now, I have things like kindergarten field trips and potty training on my mind. Things might change when I hit middle age and the kids move out of the house, but for now I’m in no danger of becoming a crazy cat lady.
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Category: Life Changes
Tags: cat
