She never yells at her kids. She’s always well dressed. I guess yoga pants don’t count? Her make up is perfect. She always has organic snacks at TBall practice, and you just went through the McDonald’s drive thru. She cooks three solid organic meals a day. Her house is spotless. She hosts amazing birthday parties for her children and all their sugar-hungry friends. Her kids behave perfectly in public, too! She even had time to go to the gym, do a few loads of laundry, take Fido to the vet, and put that organic meal in the Crock Pot. All in just a few hours. She also works or volunteers regularly at her child’s school. Or maybe she even works full time. Okay, so you get my point. I could probably go on and on about how inadequate we often feel.Recently a friend posted on Facebook how much she longed to be like “one of those moms.” You know, Super Mom. The mom that always has it together in public.
The point is “super mom” is a lie.
I was one of those moms. Or at least I tried to be. But guess what? We really can’t do it all. I often found myself cranky with the kids when I should’ve been enjoying them. I yelled. A lot. No matter how hard I tried, my house just wasn’t ever clean enough. I worked full time and strove to prove to the world that I could do it all with four kids. I was exhausted. My relationship with my kids was strained. And my spiritual life was dry. God didn’t call us to be perfectionists. He called us to be moms.
When we lost our son nearly two years ago, Super Mom forgot everything. Even how to function on a daily basis. The fact that my kids were fed regularly was a miracle. I had to re-learn everything I had done so easily before.
I also had to let some things go. I decided my house didn’t have to be perfect. I just wanted to enjoy my kids. I don’t yell like I used to because 1.) it’s damaging to children and your relationship with them. And 2.) it’s a huge waste of energy. My kids misbehave in public. I might cook a couple of sorta organic meals a day. I don’t wear much make-up. I am generally most comfortable in yoga pants. My kids are much more relaxed and happier now. And I honestly think they’re better for it. I don’t ever want to go back to being the mom I was, because I think this one is better. I don’t miss striving for other people to see my perfection while hiding my imperfection behind closed doors. My goals are no longer people focused but rather Christ focused.
Before you envy that mom that appears to be “super mom,” think about the unseen. What might be going on in her personal life? Does she really have it all together or is she just trying to prove herself to the world? Because honestly, we can’t be the “super mom” society expects of us. What we can do is love on our kids and enjoy every little ounce of the childhood they have before it’s too late and they’re all grown up.
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Category: Moms
Tags: expectations
