Yeah, I went there.

You see I am plumper, older, and more…..ahhhh…..I dunno…than I used to be in my wild and sexy days.

So when we started getting an accidental and free subscription to Maxim Magazine, I was upset.  Was I upset because as a mother and “grown up” I am now insecure about my body, my looks, my sexuality?  Was I upset because I am slipping a tad more conservative lifestyle around my shoulders now that I am a parent?  Was I worried my husband would be enjoying the magazine a bit much?

There is sex everywhere….Baptists are doing it, Catholics, Atheists, Agnostics…even the Methodists are doing it every third Wednesday and if it is their birthday.  We thrill at sex in any form: scandal, gossip, models too thin, skirts too short and sexy song lyrics.  Humans LOVE SEX and they should.  It is a wonderful thing God gave us.

BUT.

Sometimes I need help remembering to be wilder and more carefree in general.  Like this article on sexting….wonder if the husband would like it?  I marked the page, hmmmm.  (HI HONEY!!!)

I used to validate my worth through my sexuality.  I think lots of women do at any age.  It is fascinating to be older, more relaxed and to look back at how I behaved when I was younger…how I felt then vs. how I feel now.  I learn from mistakes and so I do not regret my choices as much as I could…I hope to teach my daughters to value themselves from the get go.  Sex is SO AWESOME I do not want them to waste it fumbling around with someone who doesn’t make their entire life better.

I love God and I try to live well to honor him and thank him for all the ridiculously big blessings in my life.  I write that so you know, because it might not be outwardly evident, what with the box wine play dates, cussing, or hollering at my precious kiddos and liberal views and all.  I know He gave us sex to enjoy with our spouses, but it can be tricky living a God centered life and feeling frisky at the same time.  How exactly to you mix sex and church?  It doesn’t fit…right???

So I have this big, rich, varied and “mature” sexuality packaged inside somebody’s mama now.  Weird.  It can be a bummer to see that makeup isn’t optional now for me to feel beautiful…I now wear it as much as I didn’t wear it in my twenties.  A push up bra isn’t for sexy anymore, it is to keep my nursed-two-babies breasts above my elbows.  My skirts are longer…not because I do not like to flash a little leg, but because nobody wants to see what is above my knee nowadays. Not even me.  Do not get me wrong, I love who I am.  I choose to love my body and what it can do, and I am pretty foxy in lingerie and candlelight.  But this Maxim magazine…..makes me blush.  And think.

Seeing nineteen year old models in their lingerie?  I guess truly no one needs to see that

I almost made this Instagram list

more than gentlemen over forty, right?  Although it makes me feel a bit insecure, I do find myself reading every issue.  Cover to cover.  And I can pull out insecure feelings any time: Standing next to a polished, gorgeous woman in my moms’ group, admiring other bloggers who are just. plain. precious. beautiful like  her and her and her!….insecurity isn’t directly related to the stimulus, is it?

My husband has offered to get rid of the magazine since he never ordered it in the first place.  He both called and emailed but it still keeps showing up.  We decided it came bundled with his Football Guys stuff.  Grin if you want, tell us how we got it if you know.  We have received it for several years now.

There is usually something offensive to me in every issue, but here’s the thing:  I want to keep Maxim in our bathroom magazine rack!  It is kind of pornish.  Maybe I need that conflict in this season of life.  With little kids climbing all over me during the day, my husband and I too drained by the end of our days to climb all over each other, this magazine serves us both well.  I am reminded to feel sexy, to be sexy when I read it.  It helps me remember my young and careless days of barhopping and fights with boyfriends and sexier clothes.

They have great articles *snickers allowed* like a hilariously  vulgar article  my husband and I died over together that inspired me to email them, thanking them for the laugh. I told them that as the Mama of two babies under three their magazine was sometimes the only sex we had.   I enjoy reading Maxim  now because it adds spice to my maturity and reminds me that I can tuck away my own naughty Intern “Office Assistant”, “Woman with a Tool” and cover model.  Though maybe my efforts with “Blender Babe” or “Vacuum Vixen” should be tabled?younger days.  I am starting to realize as I slip into my forties that our parents weren’t uptight….they were just mature.  Like trees.  Taller and bigger with wrinkly bark….UGH.

Yeah, I know we do not want our daughters getting the idea women have to look like that to be beautiful, save your breath, we are all over it.  They are little right now and we aren’t worrying about that today.  There are plenty of worries and stresses in our wonderfully full rich life as a family of four.  We aren’t going to borrow trouble or worry just yet.

I want the Birchbox deal….$10 a month?…YES PLEASE!  I might just buy it for myself…..Thanks Maxim!

So…back to Maxim.  We still get the magazine.  You know who reads it first? When you come to my house, you can find the latest issue tucked behind the Parenting Magazine,  Good Housekeeping, and Gardening catalogues. Flip through it when you are on the can.  Have some laughs, kindle some memories of your younger days and take that fire right on home with you.  Like the naughty Maxim magazine, us mamas can have some fun tucked away behind our good housekeeping too!

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