Back to School: The Perfect Mom's Back to (Pre)School List

Katie Katie Parsons is the creator of Mumbling Mommy and is a freelance writer, editor and communications specialist. She works from her home office on the east coast of Florida. Most often she writes about life in a combined family of five children and what it's like being a full time work-from-home parent. Feel free to pitch guest post ideas or just drop her a line at [email protected].

Back to school? Oh yeah, as a mom I should be thinking about school. My sweetest, rottenest child is three and will be attending preschool formally this Fall. She has gone to a month to month preschool here and there, but this time we pay tuition and register and visited and will have a bucket tote. There will be a schedule and everything. Maybe I should start putting the dates into my Cozi Calendar? Hmm.

With the Back to School Syndrome heading into full swing and having no understanding or experience with it, I have compiled this handy list for all of you to use. I will be checking up on you and using red ink.

The Perfectionist Mom’s Back to (pre)School List
1) Buy a lot of brand name new clothes for children.
2) Buy a lot of designer new clothes for you. (gotta look awesome at drop off)
3) Buy school supplies in custom colors for each child. Themes are great.
4) Spend three hundred dollars on labels. Cute. Labels. (No, sharpies aren’t good enough.)
5) Teach children a third language and ballet and a new sport to impress teacher.

The Regular Mom’s Back to (pre)School List
1) Buy new and thrifted clothes to round out wardrobe for children.
2) Wash and maybe get crazy and iron clothes for you for drop off.
3) Buy some crayons and paper and anything else on the supplies list.
4) Sharpies are good enough.
5) Hope your kid remembers their alphabet and numbers in front of the class.

My Back to (pre)School List
1) Buy more beer and wine. Lots more; think of all the free time I’ll have!
2) Remember to wear clothes for drop off.
3) Collect crayons and scrap paper from recycling bin until I find that elusive supplies list.
4) Who needs labels? Things come, things go. I hate the princess sippy cups anyhoo.
5) Pray to God your kid doesn’t cuss on the first day. Or that they will at least use the word in context and quietly.

Good Luck in your back to school adventures. Is there anything I am forgetting? I sure could use some help.

Obviously!

True stories from the front lines of parenting.

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