I work now… so am I not a stay-at-home mom?
In the world of mommy wars, you’re either a working mom or a stay-at-home mom … You don’t get to be both.
Guess what, though? I say, “Screw you, Mommy wars!”
I am both.
Last month, I went back to work. I now work outside of the home 20 hours a week (two 10-hour weekday shifts). So two full days a week, I wake my kids up, kiss them goodbye and then see them again at dinner time only to tuck them in a short 30 minutes or so later. That’s the heartbreaking struggle of a working mom, right there.
But then for the remaining three full days (not including the weekend when my husband is also here, my oldest is off school, etc.) I am at home with my girls. We lazily enjoy some Netflix in bed, graze through breakfast, head to story times at the library and playdates to ride bikes with friends. I run the dishwasher and fold laundry intermixed with the fun, I plan meals, and I run errands: the endearing balance of chaos for a stay-at-home mom.
I do both. And so now, I don’t really know where I fit in.
Am I a stay-at-home mom, a working mom, a hybrid, or none of the above?
Can working moms not commiserate with me because I have so many days off still for “homemaker” tasks? Do stay-at-home moms envy me because I get a small break from my kids every week? Or worse, do stay-at-home moms judge me for leaving my children with a babysitter?
I’ve actually worked from home quite a bit over the past 4 years of my stay-at-home-mom gig. (I worked full time prior to the birth of my oldest and then 30 hours a week until my twins were born.) I never really felt like I was a work-at-home mom either, though. And now, I still work from home and work outside the home and stay home with my kids and, for what it’s worth, I am finishing up coursework to have a doula certification, which I guess will make me self-employed?
So, mommy labels … Where do I fit in? I’m just going to stick with the title of “mom” and call it a day. No more hashtags or questions or labels. I am a mom. I work in various ways. I take care of my home/life (with lots of help from my husband and kids). But none of those things are dependent on each other or mutually exclusive. For the rest of you moms wondering where you fit, just be a mom with me and let the rest fall into place however it works for you.
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Tags: Heather C.