Heather C Heather C is a married, mom of three: big sis Lily and identical twins Natalie and Sophia. She has been guest blogging for Mumbling Mommy since February of 2012 and began working as a Social Media Editor in 2014. After nearly a decade in banking, she now works part time at a doctor's office specializing in breastfeeding medicine and spends the rest of her days in her Midwest home as zookeeper/stay-at-home-mom. Heather C is also a runner, hiker, yogi, bike rider and more. She reads when she finds more than a few minutes to herself and she hosts a lot of pajama dance parties in her kitchen. In her spare time, she's the co-leader for her daughter's Girl Scout troop and an active member of the school's Parent-Teacher Committee as well as a certified postpartum doula.

Mommy wars are all about which moms are the best, right? So, here it is, finally, an honest to goodness look at why I’m a better mom than you. Before you start throwing stones though, listen up. I’m a good mom, I’m no supermom. My house is often a mess. There is a lot of yelling throughout the day and yes, my kids are watching television right at this moment so I can write. But none of that matters; I’m still a better mom. Here’s why:

I’m a Good Mom Because:

    1. I possess this amazing quality called empathy. I can honestly say that I cannot remember the last time I passed judgment on another parent. This is the epicenter of mommy wars. So. Much. Judgment. But instead, I stop and think for a tiny second what life could possibly be like for the other person. Parents are so busy trying to always do it all perfectly that they forget long ago when they didn’t know any better and made mistakes, too. We all make mistakes. We all learn. We all grow. We are all a good mom.
    2.  I am open-minded. There are a LOT of parenting decisions I regret. Unlike many parents, though, I am not stuck in my ways. Just because I tried doing it that way before, I wasn’t stubborn enough to be in denial when it didn’t work. I researched. I asked for advice from other moms (gasp!) and I tried something different the next time. In almost every instance, the thing that ended up working was something I never would have even considered the first time, like when I ate my own words about cloth diapering not being for me. Parenting is a lot of trial and error, but so many times we insist that we know what we are doing and don’t open ourselves up to the abundance of options that are out there, no matter how crazy they may seem before we step outside the box.
    3. I have a sense of humor (and laugh at myself often). I’ve had a lot of “woe is me” moments. I’ve played the part of the martyr. I’ve turned my nose up. And here I am, looking back at it all, smiling. “Gosh, I was a serious witch, wasn’t I?” is often a thought that pops up in my mind about my early parenting days. So now I just laugh. When someone sarcastically criticizes parents who use this product or talk to their kids in that way, instead of becoming a Facebook troll and belittling complete strangers, I just laugh. I don’t know these people. They aren’t attacking me personally. I have the choice to click that red X at the top of my screen and laugh it off. I’m well aware of how crazy my parenting may look to outsiders no matter how normal it is to me. Haters are gonna hate … I just shake it off, shake it off, shake it off … I’m a 30-year-old Taylor Swift fan. Judge me.

Basically what I’m trying to say is that I’m not really better than anyone. Neither are you. Neither is the mom who runs the parent teacher committee at your local elementary school. Or THAT mom at preschool pickup who makes us all feel self-conscious about life. The only moms we are all better than are the ones who lack the human compassion required to not think they are better than others.

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Category: Moms

Tags: empathy