In the past, I’ve always scoffed at the idea of a mom quarter life crisis. Why would anyone be so unsure about their life in their mid-twenties?
Well, apparently my quarter-life crisis just waited a little past age 25 to set in. And honestly, I think my definition might be a little different than some. Some issues that I think would be commonly associated with a quarter life crisis would be whether to continue a relationship or strike out on your own, or what to do after you’ve graduated from college. I’ve got those things figured out.
|My life is all about these little people.|
Having a Mom Quarter Life Crisis
I think my biggest issue is that I’m 27 (almost 28!) years old, and I don’t really know what I want to do with my life. I became a mom when I was 21 years old. I graduated college at 23. I worked for a few years, then became a mom again at 26. I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for a year now.
I feel like at this point my life is defined by field trips, cleaning, watching too much Fresh Beat Band, snacks, and bedtime routines. I often feel like I’ve forgotten who I am or what I like to do. I was watching Jeopardy at the gym a few days ago (a few moments of solace while my kids are at the child-watch) and I didn’t know the answers to any of the questions. All of my available brain space feels like it’s occupied with kid stuff. I’d like to say I knew the job was dangerous when I took it. But when it comes to motherhood, there’s no way to know what to expect until you’re knee-deep in spit up and toys.
But now what? What is my identity, aside from being a mom? A lot of the time, I don’t really feel like I have one. While I do a bit of freelance work, I don’t have an office to go to or coworkers to chat with. I don’t have very many friends (plenty of acquaintances, but have you tried keeping friends when you’re a mom? it’s not always easy). I love my husband and kids and they love me. But who exactly am I?
The answer is, I have no idea. I don’t feel like I have time to figure it out. I know that this daily grind that comes with having small children will pass. I am 99% sure that I am done having kids. At this point, I think I’m just going to have to live with waiting to find myself until I’m a little older. Truthfully, I feel a little defeated by this at this very moment in time. I know the saying “this too shall pass,” and I know that it will. But for now, I think quarter life crisis is where I am right now. I think it sounds a little bleak, but I’m learning to work with it. I’m sure I’ll figure it out in time. Right?
Re-reading what I’ve written, it all sounds horribly depressing. But through the view of a pretty hefty dose of a SSRI, I’ve made peace with it. I’m finding bright spots in the mundane. My 15 month old daughter stringing together two words today was pretty awesome (even if she was coveting another baby’s pacifier). I can’t believe how fast my son’s kindergarten year has flown by, and how intelligent he is.
Anyone else feel like this has happened to them? Any advice for a mom quarter life crisis?
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Category: Life Changes