There are things other mothers tell you about having children when you have none of your own. The whole ‘Get ready for your life to begin’ and ‘You’re going to love like never before’ and ‘It’ll be love at first sight’ are all great ways to put the love you’ll feel for your children. I have a few things I would like to share about my feelings, and unwavering love I have for my kids, my family and my life as a mother.
I have a new-found love for my own parents and family.
Most of us are lucky enough to grow up in a family where we feel loved, cherished and special. Whether we came from a broken home, a home with happily married parents or any other type of family, we felt appreciated. After starting my family, I know I became much closer with my parents, especially my mother. You realize how much they truly love you once you feel the unconditional love you have for your own children.
My mother and I talk nearly every day. We are, of course, mother and daughter but we are also dear friends to one another.
I want my kids to have a relationship with their grandparents, like I did with mine.
My husband and I were both very fortunate to grow up around our grandparents. My mother’s parents lived just a couple of miles down the road, and I spent as much time there as I did in my own home. We both recall summer nights catching lightning bugs, playing Yahtzee and watching Wheel of Fortune. After the death of my last living grandparent in August, I write with an aching heart: I am so thankful for the amazing times I had, and the memories I will always carry with me. I want more than anything for my children to have the same memories and time with their grandparents, because grandparents are pretty darn special.
I have a deeper love for my husband, as both my other half and as a father to my children.
I am just full of love in this post aren’t I? I love my husband very much. Obviously. He and I will celebrate our 5-year anniversary in May (just 3 days before our second child turns one!) and we have had a lot of fun, to say the least. We spent the first few years as a couple enjoying the nightlife here in Indianapolis. As we got out of that scene, we enjoyed hanging out with friends at one another’s homes, dining out at hole-in-the wall and local restaurants, and traveling. Prior to having children, we travelled to the Bahamas, Mexico, Las Vegas, the Grand Canyon, St. Louis and Niagara Falls.
We now have two young children, which means traveling, dining out and especially enjoying the nightlife are past-times that are few and far between. Now I see my husband in a different light. He is the amazing, compassionate and involved father of my children. He, my friends, is pretty amazing.
I changed careers and am not wistful about it.
First, I have to give a big thanks to my husband, who provides for our family and who also supported me with my wish to be at home with our kids. I am fortunate that we are able to make this work, and he was willing to adjust to the lifestyle changes that accompany my staying home. I am not going to say that I gave up my career for my children. I don’t view it that way. I look at it as a choice my family made, and that choice is for me to stay home with my children and it is what I wanted more than anything.
|My husband’s parents and our kiddos|
Staying at home with my children instead of working full-time was a gift from God. We had loosely planned for me to stay home after having our second child. But once the reality hit that the second baby was on her way, the thought of leaving my steady income and giving up great health insurance truly terrified me. In an economy in this horrible state and with the high unemployment rate, was it stupid to leave?
I had wracked my brain for ways to make money, from donating plasma to watching other people’s children, but for one reason or another, none of them seemed like a good long-term solution for our family. A dear friend of mine knew I was having my second child, and mentioned that she may be able to give me some work that I could accomplish from home on my own time. I wanted to be home with my kids, and I was willing to do whatever it took to stay home with the kids- they are only this young once.
Now I spend my children’s naptime, evenings and parts of the weekend hard at work at my computer not watching TV shows on DVR or reading a new book (although I really do need to focus on myself more). I usually work another one to two hours after the kids go to bed. I work nearly every weekend. This is not a complaint! I am SO ecstatic to have the work available and the flexibility that is associated with working from home so I can be with my children. Being a mother is a job I have always wanted. If I chose to join the business world again someday, jobs (hopefully) will still be available. But this time with my children won’t be. For now, I am willing to lack a little in the me-time department in order to be around my children.
Becoming a mother changes your outlook on life in so many ways. I am so fortunate to experience this love for my children that I never knew was possible. I am thankful each and every day for my family, and for my job that allows me to work from home and raise my children. What things have changed for you since you became a parent?
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