Katie Katie Parsons is the creator of Mumbling Mommy and is a freelance writer, editor and communications specialist. She works from her home office on the east coast of Florida. Most often she writes about life in a combined family of five children and what it's like being a full time work-from-home parent. Feel free to pitch guest post ideas or just drop her a line at katie@mumblingmommy.com.

During my infertility blog series, I discussed some personal details about how it affected my marriage. Our sexual relationship went from personal and in the bedroom to being every one’s business and medically scheduled. Getting out of that rut was difficult. Convinced we didn’t have a “problem” we moved on and just continued life. We had good times and bad times. Then the bottom dropped out.

During a good and wonderful time in our lives, we decided to try for another child and instead got two. Bringing them into this world turned into the year from hell! At 16 weeks along I was placed on pelvic rest. At 24 weeks along I was hospitalized. The girls were born at 32 weeks.

Add in 8 weeks more of post c-section pelvic rest, two screaming babies with acid reflux and my own post partum depression and all the sudden we were no longer in that perfect and happy place.

It was actually my husband who suggested reading the book, “Getting the Sex You Want.” My husband is amazing. I thought the idea of reading a self-help book, let alone one about sex was ridiculous. Here I was overwhelmed, in pain, suffering on the inside and out and he wanted me to read a book? But because I love my husband and because a part of me knew he was right, we purchased the book for our iPhones.

“Getting the Sex You Want” is 224 pages and nine chapters. It is broken down into dozens of exercises that encourage you and your partner to do everything from learning how to talk openly to each other to letting down your guard under the sheets. The author, Tammy Nelson, is a licensed psychotherapist with over 20 years experience in couple’s counseling specifically in sexology. Amazon.com readers have rated the book overall with 4.8 out of 5 stars.

Several chapters into the book, my husband and I are hooked. We both agree that for this book to really have an impact on your relationship, both parties need to read the book together. It is not time consuming. We read from exercise to exercise (only a few pages at a time). There are no deadlines. If one of us doesn’t get the reading done, the other waits. We don’t read ahead. We believe that doing this TOGETHER is one of the most important factors.

Not only has reading “Getting the Sex You Want” lead to just that, the sex we want, it has brought us closer together. It has gotten us out of that new baby rut that so many new parents experience. It has helped us feel like a man and a woman again instead of a mommy and a daddy.

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